Have you ever thought how much we depend on the opinions of other people and how we judge ourselves based on what others expect from us? Or what we think others may expect from us?
Let me give you an example. Starting and writing a blog can be a real challenge. It can lead to doubts which can give rise to anxiety. What will others think? Will people like what I write? Will anyone even read it? And what’s your answer? Would you write what people want to read, in your opinion, or would you rather just share your insights out of love? We are facing this kind of questions every day when making even the simplest decisions such as ‘will my husband like a dinner I am about to cook?’ or ‘will my wife like a birthday card I chose for her?’ We start overthinking and stressing while the answer is simple – do what you feel in your heart to be right.
While thinking and being considerate of others is an essential part of being a human, we often forget about ourselves when it comes to making decisions. We may forget about our own needs and only think how to keep people around us happy. We may not even be aware that we are doing this. It often happens because we want to be liked and loved. We may feel that if we take care of ourselves and do things for ourselves, others may not get what they want; they may get upset, judge us or reject us. We may even feel guilty for treating ourselves nicely, because we feel that we have to take care of others first. In reality, who else will take care of you, if not you?
It is impossible to please everyone and no matter how hard we try we can’t meet everyone’s expectations. If we do manage to do that somehow, it would probably mean that we neglect ourselves completely, feel worn out and unable to enjoy life. We may always feel slightly discontented without realising that it is not our natural state. This may lead to stress, anxieties, worries and fears that can cause depressions and physical illnesses. This is all due to lack of self-love. Since we don’t love ourselves, we feel that we cannot be loved just like that, that we need to please others so that they have a reason to love us. We may think that we are not good enough, that we are not doing our jobs well enough or that this man or woman is so amazing that we are not worthy of their love.
All of this is not true of course – we are completely loveable just the way we are, we don’t need to do things to deserve love or to prove anything to anyone. Self-love and self-healing start with accepting a simple fact that we are all worthy of love. All we need to do, really, is to love ourselves and to take care of ourselves. When we do that, we naturally become more attractive, we radiate love and others get drawn to this light. Life starts to flow more easily and we suddenly find ourselves being promoted, getting a new exciting job or staring a wonderful relationship.
Loving thoughts and accepting your own worth, yourself, can transform your reality. Our minds are immensely powerful tools and they create powerful thoughts. Thoughts have a tendency to manifest themselves in a physical form. If you think and feel that you are successful, healthy, strong, you will be. If you think that you are always tired, unwell, poor, you will be.
Our thoughts give rise to feelings – positive thoughts result in positive feelings and negative thoughts in negative feelings. We are often driven by our thoughts and feelings, but we are not our thoughts. We can choose what and how we think. If we consciously choose loving thoughts, we feel happier and healthier. Our minds are incredibly powerful, but they are only tools and we can master our ability to use them to enhance our lives.
Our self-love and healing journey begins when we become aware of our thoughts and feelings and when we make a conscious choice to shift the balance towards positive thinking and well-being.
Image: painting by Julia Leanora